1. |
Conversations With Self
02:44
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Well welcome here we are again
Come coward cower and complain
Familiar voice familiar comments coming out
Seems the constants keep you sane.
-
its nice to see that you can laugh about the child abuse you went through
and all the brutal images burned in your mind
and theres no rule that you can’t wash the wounds with indifference you’ll find
you’re fine with leaving this behind.
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its nice to see now nothings changed
you’re still hung up on hatred fed from hungrier days
that starving boy’s still tugging at your sleeve.
Please leave, I haven’t time for this.
Im a model citizen
I’m a model
Mirror man stares chuckles shakes and spits
Your life boils down to this
So scale the stairs to face your fears mono y mono midnight marauding mirror monologue.
Give up the ghost she’s gone
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somewhat surprised you’re still alive
Still trudging through each day as if you’ve kept it confined
Fragile façade’s fast falling to the floor
Your life defines defeat
Mirror man stops splinters shatters falls
I hate what you’ve done to me.
You’ve brought this on yourself with every indecision
Every broken promise
All of this now piled on top of every time you swore that you would change
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2. |
House
01:47
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HOUSE
I guess I get it, intense depression takes its toll
High price to pay presents the rub, selfish release
Internally conflicted confrontation confusing rouse to hide or find the truth.
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The truth be told, the convoluted tales we’d never know
The sacred structure rotting from the beams
The endless senseless quest for truth is
Heresay, the throngs cry heresy, a cowards cross you bear
Or a barren soul you’ve carried for too long
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This towns told terrible times to some
Good lifes grown cold and grey for some
And so grown men, made makeshift landmines, comprised from former life.
Behold! a hissing open oven and a match
-as some desperate act, to get her back, or make her sorry.
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3. |
Nation In Distress
03:51
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NATION IN DISTRESS
The cameras rolling on the breaking scene
Reporters dictate burning gasoline
The death toll rises ratings coincide
One human tunes in, one human tunes out
Zoom in, Zoom in find the sharpest angle
Dead line plot line push the human interest in this
Exploitation sickens me, I cant bear to watch this anymore
I can’t move and I can’t speak
I cant raise my hand the will is weak
The mind is numb, the senses gone
The conscience sleeps-
The vultures circle, the vultures find the pain and feed
The vultures smile, the red lights on collect a fee
The vultures circle (the cameras rolling on the breaking scene….)
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4. |
Kankakee Story
02:40
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KANKAKEE STORY
Seen it a million times, always young and pretty, always barely 17
Always rounding out the first trimester with charlies child and
Good time charlie’s gone, hitched a ride with innocence
You can sense he wont be back, you can smell it in the air.
I don’t care, I’ll make it on my own
Im not scared, I’ll take care of my baby
My responsibility, fed by love and GED we’ll make ends meet
By any means or so it seems its
9 to 5, then 5 to 10 then sleep, awake, repeat,regret
Lies heavy on the head, a record player skips on daddy’s line.
“look what you’ve done, look at your mother. All of the pain you’ve caused, all that you’ve done to us. What were you thinking? And you and all your selfish actions
Don’t you see how this reflects on me! Its my house my rules you know the drill pack up your things and leave.” And the cycle will repeat.
I don’t care, I’ll make it on my own, I’m not scared, I’ll take care of my son
You don’t know me, we don’t need no one.
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5. |
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Yet another old friend’s give up his life for death
Message came to me this morning as I lay at rest, mourning’s been delayed
I’ve just been busy
It’s just that I lost track, I’ve lost touch with the old pack
Thought we’d gotten past these self seeking attacks with high school hijinks
This one’s for me and you
Down the hatch the burn will symbolize something I hope, I pray
I’ve been numb since I lost track with friends and feelings finding strength with rituals and simple goals
The ugliest side is hard to find
Getting cold careless feelings on all fronts
Finding pain gets much more difficult these days
I’ve known for many months now
I’ve known for long enough
Should’ve said I’ll miss you man some time ago
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6. |
My Fault
02:18
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Hard to admit, situations strangling me. Choking back tears, grasping for strength, pushing myself to the point. Stuttering stumbling mumbling metaphors, but no words could soften the blow.
Turn back the clock, I’ll take the blame. When I took your hand, led you to safety led you to let down your guard. I painted perfect pictures promising I’d give the world for you, left you empty.
I know I know, I know
You don’t want my “im sorry’s” but im sorry is all I have
I tried and failed I left you behind, buried my head in my arms in the sand in the dark to hide.
Hurt too much, too young, too soon to deal. But we both know that’s no excuse. Im failing you now, Im tearing you down. I know I know I coaxed you up to tear you down.
Please hate me, please hit me. Verify this pain caused and return.
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7. |
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I've calibrated this just right.
Precise release to southwest wind against an open winter night.
A fairer destination planned.
Handwritten, packaged up and sent off via helium ballon.
I hope this gets to you--------
Please forgive me for my sin, for breathing life into the ghost you left behind
I don’t need to know the crime
Details could skew the view of me and you I’ve memorized
I hope this gets to you.---
I beg you never to return
I pray you’ve found your peace.
Don’t look back, don’t look back
They’ll only suck you in
I hope you understand--------
My mind’s perception’s classic me.
I see the sun has touched your skin from countless summer sessions
Far from the February freeze,
The drunken fights the coked up nights are happening too often.
There’s nothing left but lots of rubbled lots and broken hopes and dreams
Diseases passed from friend to friend with smiles and sympathetic eyes
Their lies so saturate their words I beg you never to return………..
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8. |
Tim And Holli
03:19
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Little petra just turned 8 years old, out of house and
Home is now accessible through manhole covers leading to a room
Of pipes supplying heated water for a city, its enough to keep her warm for one more night.
65 cents would keep her alive for one more night
and that’s all that she can ask for which is more than I can say for you and me
life expectancy keeps her pretty meek
Im sure its easy breaking spirits in the cold.
But I, Ill break down. And cry myself to sleep
With lemon juice and paper cuts, I’m pitiful.
Im a tiny man in comparison
To tim and holli hitching to get across town
To sell the jewelry that they’ve made
The rent has to be paid.
And 9th grade education keeps the options pretty thin
With a future left to them, they make an honest living
With the talents that they have
Its what they have to do what have I done
With lemon juice and tears.
Cover me in gasoline and light me up.
I’ll flicker out, flicker out, flicker out,
Flickering, making differences that only I care about.
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9. |
Raisin
02:28
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The raisin river rinsed me once, long before this land
And the hate harbored within, a structure strange and alien
Senses switch defense in gear, so keep the weapon well concealed
Just enough to scare them off. A child should never make that choice.
I’m still walking off the tension in my gut.
Please keep away, don’t make me do this
I’m not sure what I’ve done, I can’t control me
Light sense of pressure giving in, a wealth of knowledge steeped in sin.
I found a family in this. I found it hard to bury it
I found it hard to bury them
The raisin river washed me clean, filthy as it was
It was innocence in place
It was the last I knew my face.
For broken heart and empty soul, for weak and weary wandering eye
For everything I know I lack.
I pray for God to take me back, hold me down,
And drown me in redemption
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10. |
Second Floor Vacation
04:38
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Life long 2nd floor vacation, vacate my mind vacate my life
Straight forward lifeless subject,
serenity, senility
No more the need for movement, nowhere to run if I could move
So pump in pump in the syrum, the sunken eyes the sleep for miles
Don’t focus, feel the rhythm’s rate
Complacent completely in disgrace
Continually in defeat
Breathe deep and rest beneath the lead lined sheets
no more the need for movement, no more the need for movement
(pump in pump in the syrum please)
an empty shell in atrophy, a broken smile a living dream
(Pump in pump in the syrum please)
I’m wonderfully weak, I’m singing me to sleep
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Kitchen Experiment Band/Solo Chicago, Illinois
Nate Meads’ Kitchen Experiment (solo/band) has been playing left of the dial influenced folk-rock with a revolving cast since mid 2000’s. Kitchen Experiment Band is like a restaurant that's loud and busy. Kitchen Experiment Solo is the small cafe off to the side that's a little less 'in your face'. The FOH and BOH staff come/go/come back, but it's the same guy writing the menu and recipes. ... more
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